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Wheat Intolerance, Pizza + Body Dysmorphia

I haven’t eaten wheat in four days. FOUR days. Yesterday, I forgot myself completely and almost dove head first into a pan of cinnamon rolls. The day before my legs hurt so badly it felt like someone was stabbing me. Today, about ten pounds of bloated awful has magically disappeared. This is what happens when you have a gluten intolerance.

You could feel any number of the wide ranging symptoms, but I’m fortunate enough to exhibit: fatigue, mood, swings, bloating, feeling of general disgust, and, ultimately, the complete inability to tell where my body ends and the atmosphere around it begins. If you’ve never felt this way, let me describe it to you with three words – Jabba the Hut. Or that guy from the Candyland game, the one named Gloppy who lives in the molasses swamp and whose body is gelatinous and dripping.

Now this is not to say that it makes me fat, or that I’m saying there is anything wrong with being fat, what I’m trying to depict to you is the out of control, uncontained, scarily disgusting feeling that eating wheat creates in my life.

And – YET – I just can’t get enough. It’s true, marzipanligs, lets just say that my behavior regarding wheat exists within the realm of *compulsive* eating. I CAN stop, but I frequently choose not to, as if I am temporarily brain washed or in some sort of coma of rampant food consuming haze. Once I stopped for a year – dairy, wheat, sugar, and booze. Cold turkey and completely. And I had never felt better; my skin was clear, I had tons and tons of energy, and I felt like my body moved in a singular unit, as opposed to a collection of many disjointed parts.

So you’d think that it would be a simple choice right? Wheat free and merrily skipping around with my youthful energy?? Wrong. It is harder for me than anything that I can possibly imagine, and something that I feel like I struggle with at every meal. And the more that I’ve been working with my compulsive eating, the more that I realize how important it is for me to make healthier food choices.

Eating wheat literally makes me sick, but as far as food allergies go, it’s on the low end of the totem pole. It’s not going to kill me, or close my throat, or make my eyes swell up, but it does affect my quality of life. This makes it different than the typical compulsive eating battle where my brain knows that eating seven cupcakes will add to my struggle with my body weight, but I do it anyway. If you are allergic to something, your body responds to it like poison.

Last month I challenged myself to do yoga everyday, a practice that I came to LOVE, and this month I’m challenging myself to give up wheat for a month in the hopes that – MAYBE – this time I can make it a habit that sticks.

Is there anything that you’re doing that you love but know it’s bad for you? 

6 Comments to Wheat Intolerance, Pizza + Body Dysmorphia

  1. nic's Gravatar nic
    March 28, 2010 at 4:53 pm | Permalink

    smoking, but I’m not ready to give that up yet. However, I always feel better when I exercise regularly but I haven’t been for months now, so I’ll pledge to do yoga every day for a month, if that counts? Maybe the manageable deadline will help me make a good habit out of it.

  2. nic's Gravatar nic
    March 29, 2010 at 10:24 am | Permalink

    Well leaving seeing the post yesterday and leaving the comment prompted me to do 15 minutes or so last night before bed. I was pretty shocked that that was all I could manage, and definitely want to keep it up all month to see how much progress I can make in that time. Thanks for the encouragement.

  3. sui's Gravatar sui
    March 29, 2010 at 6:26 pm | Permalink

    I’m going to take care of myself as much as possible– the right sleep, the right food, for a month. I’m good most of the time, but I want to do it every day for a month CONSISTENTLY, and then continue to do it for the rest of my life.. :)

  4. February 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm | Permalink

    me too…i look back on my history of allergies- shots from age 3 til 22.. chronic sniffles and such…and at midlife the cravings for wheat/gluten in all its forms and know without a doubt that my body really cannot tolerate the gluten. Nothing throws me into more imbalance than eating it and nothing is harder to quit.. Cigarettes were easier (21 yrs clean thank you very much!).. wheat and dairy are my real food foes and life is so so so much better when I don’t touch them. I am thinner, happier, more peaceful and symptom free of all allergenic reactions.. all. I even thought I was becoming mildly arthritic a few years ago and when I quit the gluten and dairy all of that went away too. I am a sensitive …as are my clients.. and even our chemistry can be different. I truly believe that most struggles with eating come from food intolerance/insensitivity.. dairy and wheat being what most of us binge on and crave b/c we are so sensitive or allergic to them. Tough choice but cleaning out the triggers does really really help if anyone’s pondering it. The first week or two is hard… treat yourself like you have the flu…it can be miserable. But you will feel better. And better.

    Simple Sacred Solutions for LIving Beautifully in Your Body

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Welcome! I’m Mara.

I’m Mara Glatzel. I’m an intuitive coach and writer. I guide women home to themselves and teach them to create lives brimming with supreme self-care. read more
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