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Self-Love for Beginners

Yesterday, we squared away your starting point in the post You Are Worth the Effort, but I bet some of you were reading that post wondering to yourself – yeah yeah but what do I do now? Well, now, you stack the deck in your favor. You gather your resources, your inspiration points, your support system, both online and off.

L♥veIn order to be successful in learning how to love yourself – you need help. You will be the most successful and the least isolated if you find a way to surround yourself with allies and role models. Understandably, not everyone has access to people like this in their daily life, but, luckily, enormously gorgeous online support networks are being built stronger every single day.  Spend an afternoon checking out some blogs, twitter accounts or facebook pages. Fill up your google reader with inspiring sites. [If you don't know what a google reader is - hit us up in the comments and we'll help you out.]

I encourage you to think about those people who inspire you, those people who are living lives that you are scared to even wish for yourself. Fill up a gigantic piece of paper with adventures/attributes/circumstances/fashion/love – whatever you can think of that you want to manifest into your life. Do not censor yourself. You don’t need to show this to anyone, it is just a starting off point. The purpose of this exercise is to illustrate for you just how lovely your life could possibly be.

Before you move on any further, I truly recommend that in the interest of treating yourself sweetly, you take a second to create yourself an emotional safety plan. Sometimes, when you set out to conquer your fears and feelings of inadequacy head on, past hurts, shame, and emotions come up that you’d tucked away somewhere deep. Unfortunately, we don’t get to a place of hating our bodies overnight or without reason.

The very first step in learning how to love yourself, for real and for good, is to make the decision to treat yourself with relentless compassion. There will be days when you can’t pull yourself up and when you find yourself speaking negatively about your body. Treat yourself sweetly, reach out to your allies, reach out to me, and know that you’re doing good work.

Additional Reading for Self-Love Beginners:

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7 Comments to Self-Love for Beginners

  1. January 3, 2012 at 12:23 pm | Permalink

    Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Compassion is key.

  2. January 3, 2012 at 1:11 pm | Permalink

    This is so wonderful, Mara. It was everything I hoped it would be and more. I will be sharing this with my friends. For the paper exercise – we just write whatever comes to mind, things we want to do or be? Like travel somewhere? Accomplish a certain task? I’m afraid of putting stuff on there like “graduate with an X GPA” or “stay on the dean’s list…” …kind of perfectionistic things that if I don’t do, will make me feel bad :(

    • Anonymous's Gravatar Anonymous
      January 4, 2012 at 10:50 pm | Permalink

      Hannah, I’ve found that it is best to write things down that make me feel adventurous and free and creative and fun – in short, the activities, places, relationships etc. that conjure up the *feeling* of what want my life to be like. I say, if any part of you twinges with fear when writing it down, scratch it and think up something that doesn’t elicit any negative emotion. Does that make sense?

  3. Melanee Dahl's Gravatar Melanee Dahl
    January 3, 2012 at 11:21 pm | Permalink


  4. MizFit's Gravatar MizFit
    January 4, 2012 at 5:55 am | Permalink

    yes yes yes it DOES all start with making that *choice* xo

  5. Manuela Melo's Gravatar Manuela Melo
    January 5, 2012 at 10:41 pm | Permalink

    I am the one who sent you an e-mail telling you I have a google reader filled with body loving blogs (as yours), and you said you laughed out loud because you did it too. I hope you remember me. I want to tell everyone who’s starting now: do it. it helps. it inspires. it can make you get through the worst body image days. even though I’m a begginner, my reading these blogs and some books has changed my life completely. I was a obssessed, depressive bulimic. I’m a recovering one now. It is an everyday battle but we can do it, and I am SO MUCH BETTER now. Believe me, you all. Good luck for everyone who’s starting now. :)

    • Anonymous's Gravatar Anonymous
      January 8, 2012 at 11:54 pm | Permalink

      Hi Manuela! Of COURSE I remember you. I’m so glad that this tip has been useful for you – it was huge for me to realize that I was part of a community of people, and when I was feeling badly, reaching out pulled me out of it so easily. I’m so glad you’re doing well. xoxo

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Welcome! I’m Mara.

I’m Mara Glatzel. I’m an intuitive coach and writer. I guide women home to themselves and teach them to create lives brimming with supreme self-care. read more
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Perhaps the greatest gift in working with Mara has been digging into how I can honor and celebrate myself even when I’m uncertain, uncomfortable, or terrified.


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