Ask Marzipan: How Do I Keep a Negative Friend From Ruining my Positive Thinking?

June 15, 2009

Dear Marzipan,

I read your blog last week when you wrote about manifesting, which is something that I’d already been working on in my personal life. I wondering if you have any tips for keeping a negative friend from ruining your positive outlook? I love my friend, but sometimes her negative energy is really difficult for me to be around. I feel like there are so many great things happening in my life, I just wish she could be happy for me too.

Dear friend,

Oh boy don’t I know it. One of the most difficult things about trying to trade your thinking or behavior in for a more positive outlook is that there will be many people who feel left behind by your new habits. Have compassion for your friend. More often than not, they are not mad at you, they are mad at themselves and the world, but punish you because you are changing your relationship with them when you change your thinking. This is particularly difficult with best friends or family members, or people whose presence in your life is near-daily.

Sometimes friends and family will feel left in the dust by your new decision-making. Now that you’ve made the choice to think positively and attract abundance towards you, probably there are many things that are going to start going right for you and there will be many new things to be excited about. Friends may feel like you have suddenly moved your life into turbo drive and no longer have time for them or will soon be too cool/pulled together/happy/successful to hang out with them. Reassure them! ¬†Even if you don’t want to call them out on their negativity, make a point to make them feel loved and continue to keep up social interactions with them.

The problem may be that as you start changing your thinking and attracting new and exciting opportunities, you may start to feel  like a different person and are no longer able to interact with people in the same way that they are accustomed to you behaving. This can be difficult, but give it some time and allow them to catch up with you. Every person has the right to grow and change, and as long as you are being true to yourself, your friends will naturally adapt and adjust to your new traits.

Best case scenario, your best friend is just going through a rough patch and your new-found positive attitude will allow you plenty of time and joy to share with her. Tell her that you love her. Plan a play-date and do all of your old favorite things. Do not feel like you have to undercut or down-play the exciting new developments in your life, because hopefully she will begin to find them more inspiring and be less unhappy or jealous.

Finally, when you have exhausted all other possibilities and you are really feeling like someone’s negative attitude is affecting your ability to live positively and in a way that feels right for you, don’t be afraid to put up some boundaries between you and the negative energy. This does not mean that you have to stop being friends with that person, but maybe you can teach yourself to dig deep when they are being negative and hold onto your happy thoughts and dreams in a place where no one can touch them. xx.

If you have a question that you’d like answered in this column, please email me at medicinalmarzipan @ gmail.com or leave it as a commente here, and I’d be happy to answer it!

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