Required read :: Repossession. Brilliant.
On Crying, Trying + the Magic of Giving up. YESSSSSS.
Here’s what to do when you’re feeling small.
On shifting our focus and attention.
How to rock a selfie photo shoot.
Feeling sort of done with your day job? Got bigger dreams on the brain? Here are 5 ways to better tolerate your day job, even when your mind is somewhere else.
The courage to be sacredly unapologetic.
Really loved this one… Embracing feminine energy in entrepreneurship.
This week I’m seeking pleasure by… watching a whole bunch of Dexter, on my couch and in my new living room, recovering from the mayhem of the last two weeks. Cooking slowly in my new kitchen. Moving intentionally. Readying myself for next week’s Restore Retreat (SQUEAL) and allowing my imagination take the lead.
Last day to register for In Full Bloom is Wednesday! If you want to spend two months gathering with a phenomenal group of women yearning to live their lives with intention and in delicious union with the cycles of the moon and seasons, join us! It is going to be a wildly creative exploration and there are still a couple of spots left. xx
On cultivating your own metrics for success :: I did it! vs. It was worth it.
An 8-year-old’s guide to intuitive eating.
This week, one of my favorite women is gathering her own circle in Maine and oh man is it gorgeous.
This week I flat out adored this email from Tiffany Han - What I really want to say.
The Chorus (a poem for those of us always trying to get ahead).
Five ways to make this week more manageable.
Loving :: Farewell to Your Shackles.
Why you gotta forget about the outcome and just do the work.
This week I was interviewed by Dr. Danielle Dowling about making MAGIC happen and damn, it was a fun interview.
On trading graduate school for aromatherapy. (P.s. Elizabeth is ah-ma-zing to work with, so if you’ve been jonesing to add some serious self-care and sustainability into your life, check her out.)
This week I’m seeking pleasure by… This week you guys. I have bronchitis. I have been moving for the last two weeks and it’s been really rough. So! Pleasure has been found in sleeping late in my new sunny bedroom, drinking only the best coffee, doing my laundry (finally), and gathering seashells and special rocks to send in the care packages to the beautiful women signing up for In Full Bloom.
What is not OK with you?
How to be alone.
Friday’s confession: I’m figuring it out.
Thinking in the Dark at 4 am.
5 Ways to Know (& Honor) Your Rhythms
I so adore Melani Marx’s post this week about cultivating a daily practice.
What to do when you feel drained by others.
Effective marketing - and living? – for introverts.
How to be a grown ass woman: Romantic relationships.
Have you been thinking that “businesslike” is synonymous with “cold and heartless”? Pace has you covered with this new manifesto.
The week I’m seeking pleasure by :: In all honesty, this week I’ve been curled up in bed with a bowl of the world’s most garlicky soup and a laptop-turned-permanent-Netflix-machine. I’ve found pleasure in fresh flowers, Advil Cold & Sinus, clean sheets, and mashed potatoes.
This week, as I’ve been celebrating my two-year self-employment-aversary… I’ve also been sick. And we’re moving next week.
The culmination of these three separate occurrences has had me thinking a lot about my metrics of success – the determining factors that I use to determine how we’ll I’m doing, in the scheme of things.
A lot of my clients come to me struggling with success and enoughness, believing that they are constantly failing and falling short. They imagine that everyone expects super-human feats out of them… and that they just don’t stack up.
Together, we work on creating their own metrics of success, the barometers that allows them to check-in to see how well they are doing. Together, we talk about living our lives with intention – even when things don’t go the way that we might want them to.
Just as I believe that it is important to create our own life rules, I also believe that it’s really important to decide for ourselves when enough is enough – and when we’ve done a good job. I believe that we get to choose what success looks like for us.
A couple of years ago I was at an all-night meditation ceremony. During the moments of first light, the leader encouraged us to pause. He said that that moment, the moment when the sun is coming up and the sky begins to lighten all around you, is the moment to pray for exactly how you want your life to look.
I closed my eyes.
And when I opened them, Cookie and I were in a big kitchen. We had several sons. Everyone had the flu.
In the prayer, we were exhausted. Exhausted by taking care of our children. Exhausted by getting sick ourselves. Exhausted by trying to hold it all together. We looked at one another and laughed, throwing our hands up in the air and declaring that the week was pretty much shot so we should just relax into being sick and getting better all together.
It wasn’t a perfect vision, but it was all mine.
In the vision, we had time and space to be sick – to be human. It didn’t mean that we weren’t going to be able to pay our bills, because we had to call in sick to work. Or, that we had to pretend to be anything except for what we were - an exhausted, sick family, of imperfectly human individuals.
That is my prayer – to create a sustainable life. A life with space for living in it. A life where I can afford to be sick. To be sad. To cry. To be human. To hold space for my family to be human too.
An authentic life. Mess and all.
When I pray, I don’t pray for a life that is tied up with a beautiful bow.
I pray that I will be strong enough to be fully present in my life and work. That I will be able to show up – both for myself and for those that I love. That I will take care of myself so that I can continue to pour my energy into working with my clients.
When I was thinking about how proud I was that I had worked entirely for myself for two years, I wanted to say: Hey guys, GUESS WHAT?! I worked for myself for two years and guess what? No one died and I paid all of my bills on time.
For two years, that has been my metric for success: pay my bills and not die.
And when I’m feeling particularly fancy – I add in a few giggles and a bit of celebration every day.
Mostly, I try to have as much fun as possible, while also making ample space to be creative in my work.
I wanted to share these metrics of success with you, not because I think that they are in any way impressive.
In fact, I don’t find them impressive at all.
I find them livable. And human. They work for me.
To often, we are filled to the brim with the desire to make ourselves bullet proof.
We shun all sugar to eliminate our chance of getting cancer.
We pray to be so perfect that we will be above reproach – so that we’ll never be broken up with, fired, or wrong.
We pray that everyone will like us.
But, I’m wondering what might be different in our lives if we prayed for the space in our lives to be human.
To show up messy. To get sick. To have a headache. To need to curl up on the couch. To ask for a moment of silence. To ask someone we love to just hold us for a moment. To have needs.
Your life will never be perfect, but it will be all yours.
Of course, pray for the best outcome for every situation. Pray that you will have the capacity to navigate it all.
Pray for the courage to live to the farthest reaches and to the best of your abilities.
But, underneath it all… pray that you will be strong enough to know that you can control everything and sometimes, the best that you can hope for is throwing your hands in the air, laughing at the absurdity of it all, and not giving up on yourself.
Two years ago today, I started working for myself full-time.
The day before I started went full-time in my business, I found myself elbow-deep in food debris as I hurriedly washed dishes at my last catering gig. I remember the sudden awareness that I could not longer do things the way that I had done. I was no longer satisfied with the life that I had been living – working my heart out for someone else’s business, building some one else’s dream.
That day I threw my waitressing shoes in the trash can before I hopped in my car and drove away.
It was the bravest act of self-love that I had ever done. It was a line drawn with sharpie.
Live in accordance with my heart and values, no matter what.
It wasn’t about not working for someone else anymore, though it has meant that for me, but, instead, it was about making the extremely difficult and gorgeous choice that I would not put my dreams on the back burner ever again.
Some of the things that we deeply desire are worth the risk.
They are worth moving back in with your parents in order to make it happen or selling your possessions, or accruing even more debt (even though you already owe over 100,000K in student loans).
They are worth realizing that, even though you painstakingly went through the process of following a degree path, you always have the choice to change your mind – completely altering your trajectory.
Because, for me, this life was worth the risk.
A life where I had space to be as creative as possible. A life where I prioritized my own self-care. A life that was stripped bare and where I offered my heart up with as much vulnerability as I could summon.
This was a hard choice.
But instead of decimating me, it inspired me.
Choosing myself inspired me.
Choosing that I was going to go after something with my whole heart – even though I might fail – inspired me.
Choosing to be tireless in pursuit of daily joy inspired me.
These last two years have been the most amazing and difficult years of my life.
I have moved into a relationship with myself that was deeper and more fruitful than I ever imagined possible.
I fully embraced myself as being too much and not enough – for some of the people in my life.
I have moved forward, even when others have told me that I should just go out and get a “real” job.
I have had my own back, no matter what.
I do not believe that we need to do things perfectly. My coaching philosophy falls much more into the camp of doing whatever we need to get through the day.
And today – two years, hundreds of clients, and at least two dozen classes later – I continue to fall deeper in love with this work every day.
I have: asked for help, watched a million hours of TV when my fears overwhelmed me, learned new skills that have helped me harness and utilize my energy, stopped drinking coffee so that I could learn my own natural energy cycles, started drinking coffee again – consciously, and hired my own coaches.
Argued with myself. Celebrated myself. Cried on the bathroom floor. Thought about throwing it all away and starting fresh. Shouted about my excitement from the highest rooftop.
I am not perfect. I am human. There is nothing special about what I have done here.
I am just a person who has put everything on the line in the name of living as honestly as possible.
At the core of all of this transformation has been the question: is it worth the risk?
Is the possibility of it turning out exactly how I want it to worth the risk that it won’t? Is striking out on my own worth the risk that I might fail? Is honoring my own process worth the risk of feeling doing things dramatically different than others in my life?
Is standing in my power and shining my light brightly worth the risk that I might be too much for people?
The answer is a resounding YES.
For me, there was no other way.
For me, hard decisions needed to be made so that I could feel good in my life.
For me, self-employment was the path to freedom.
For me, creativity and honoring my own process was the most important thing in my life.
For me, there was no other way.
I do not believe that everyone needs to work for themselves in order to “feel free” – in fact, don’t think that it’s the right choice for most people. You can seek freedom and work in a 9-5 job. You can seek freedom no matter what your life looks like.
You get to define what success – and freedom – looks like for you.
I believe in making the necessary and hard choices in honor of your quality of life.
I believe in choosing how you want to live and making it a priority.
I believe that we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
I believe that we flourish when we let ourselves out of the little pens that we’ve kept ourselves in, and allow ourselves to experiment joyfully.
I believe in blooming, exactly where we are, by choosing to believe that our dreams an desires are vitally important to our quality of life.
I believe that we can build our capacity for standing at the epicenter of our lives with strength and ease by taking the risks that tantalize us, whispering sweet nothings on the periphery of our consciousness.
I believe in you.
I believe in your ability to transform your life.
I believe that you can have – and deserve – your wildest dreams.
I believe in your strength as you decide for yourself what is worth the risk.
I believe in the exact moment when you draw your own line, deciding that enough is enough, and beginning to live in a way that is aligned with your heart and personal values.
I believe in you, as I have believed in myself these last two years. Tirelessly. Unendingly. Unconditionally.
In Full Bloom :: September 23 – November 22nd
In Full Bloom is two month exploration into cultivating bliss, peaceful coexistence, and deep permission in your life right now. This group journey is about making the decision to become an active participant in your own life – and surrounding yourself with a vibrant community that supports and nourishes you.
Filled to the brim with women of all ages gathering from all corners of the globe, this online community journey will guide you towards crafting a life of intention and joyful union with yourself and the Earth.
In Full Bloom will teach you how to trust in your own intuition and cultivate a life from the ground up that honors your individual creative process and energy cycle.
This journey is about moving forward in a way that honors the magnificent woman that you already are and carves out space for you to shine your light brightly as you navigate your daily life.
Join us by clicking this link. It is going to be a wild ride.
And, I can’t wait to welcome you personally by sending you the magical package that I’m whipping up for each and every participant. xx