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Pleasure Reading 04.20.14

Required reading: When the time comes to be alone.

I’m madly in love with the Pacific Northwest so I was delighted to share this travel guide with you for your next trip.

A brilliant friend of mine has created this group excursion around activating your personal power. It is all kinds of gorgeous and she is hosting a free call tomorrow! Check it out here.

How to make a homemade rope light.

Considering a dramatic change of course? Check this out: So long, PhD. Hello, Writing Career.

So happy to share an interview that I did this week with the lovely Kyle Willets about doing health differently.

What if you didn’t make your body wrong?

Loving this gorgeous post from Kylie Bellard - My recipe for dream fulfillment.

Put down your goddamn phone: The perils of phoneland.

Feel Me, by the brilliant Hannah Marcotti, broke my heart open in a million ways this week.

Hello, Wonderful is BACK! Join me and a troupe of 600 amazing women (and counting) for two weeks of love notes, rampant permission granting, and email shenanigans. It’s utterly free and I would love it if you wanted to come along for the ride.

This week I’ve been seeking pleasure by: meeting up with three gorgeous and powerful ladies for a weekend of connection and celebration, drinking luxe cocktails with rosemary and lemon, paying my taxes – with as much grace and ease as I could muster, and cooking meatballs and spaghetti squash for my sweetheart. 

And finally: I’m sending lots of love and Easter and Passover blessings and good wishes to all of you this weekend, no matter where you are or what you’re celebrating.

Owning Your Worth

On any given day there are a million places to transfer our worth, allowing it to slip through our tender hands and attach itself to moments that pass by.

Not enough food in the refrigerator… unworthy.

Yelled at the kids for taking too long… unworthy.

Favorite jeans really tight… unworthy.

Bank account overdrawn… unworthy.

Hysterically cried when I felt triggered by my partner, only to push them further away… unworthy.

No comments or little hearts on my favorite social media platform… unworthy.

As we navigate our way through our day, around the planet, we have opportunities to adhere our worth, our goodness to just about anything that we come into contact with. In the process, we tell ourselves the familiar story: Because I __________, I am not good enough.

We give our best selves away and we tell ourselves that we are inherently flawed. 

We believe the stories that we spin. We tell ourselves that because the project was late or the laundry went undone or we spilled coffee on our shirt – again – that we are undeserving.

We do it as if we don’t have a choice… but we do.

We attach meaning to those actions, damning ourselves and giving a piece of our sparkle away, because we imagine that is what the world is thinking. That if we say it before someone else does, we will be safer. That if we take ourselves down a notch we will be inspired to keep striving, reaching for perfection.

But, you are not the food in the refrigerator or the late project or the overdrawn bank account.

You are not the jeans that don’t fit or the fight with your partner.

You are a person, human and whole. 

You are the sum of your many parts, both light and dark. We all are.

You will not be safer if you try to beat others to the punch, damning yourself and punishing yourself for your many transgressions. 

Hurting and punishing yourself while you give all of your good stuff away is not the path to transcendence.

Instead, it keeps you here. Tethered to the ground and chained to you many negative beliefs about yourself. It keeps you from moving forward with trust and faith. It keeps you from being inspired by the multitude of your many strengths.

You are not the spilled coffee.

You are an ecstatic collection of cells with a radiant spark dwelling deep within, put on this planet for a purpose. 

You will make mistakes. We all will.

You will break your own heart a million times. You will act out. You will yell when you wish you could calmly make your point.

You will make mistakes, but you do not have to make them mean that you are unworthy.

That is the part that you can control. The only part. 

You control what you believe. What you say to yourself as you navigate the world. What you teach others about how to treat you.

You control the part where give your worth away, chipping pieces off and slipping them into the pocket of the jeans that don’t fit or leaving them in the fridge where the half and half was supposed to be.

Until you have nothing left but a slew of evidence to support your belief that you are undeserving.

Like breadcrumbs, collect those chips. Follow them back to yourself, to your source. 

Hold them tight in your hands and refuse to let them go.

Your worth is inherent, immovable, unchangeable – unless you choose to give it away.

Give yourself permission to hold those parts. Permission not to attach meaning to every little thing that goes wrong in your day. Permission to be who you are, flaws and all.

Permission to accept yourself, fully. 

 


 

PG1 Permission Granted begins May 12th. 

This is a community class about joyful transformation, about learning how to give yourself permission to truly inhabit your own life.

Join us.

Taking Up Space

Noticing from JetBlue Flight, Seat 18B

It was the first time since we’ve been together that Cookie and I didn’t sit next to one another. Because we bought our tickets late, we were both sitting in the center seats of two different rows.

Just thinking about the center seat makes my skin crawl. 

Since I was a child I have had this overwhelming and largely irrational fear about having people between me and the aisle, door, or exit. This dread is the intersection of two competing needs: the freedom of knowing that I can move at will and my deep dislike of disturbing others with my needs, making myself seen.

Interrupting their nap to get up to use the restroom.

Reaching over them to receive my green tea and terra blue potato chips.

Putting my chair back and impinging on the space of the person sitting behind me.

I was sitting next to an enormous man who fell asleep sprawling into my personal space, head back and mouth open snoring.

He didn’t care that he was in my space, so what was I so afraid of?

When I had to get up, the very nice girl sitting next to me barely moved, swinging her legs to the side to let me out.

She didn’t care, so why did I?

 


 

Meeting My Need for Nourishment

I have the kind of body that is particular. Particularly sensitive. It is constantly switching around it’s needs and desires – having me running back and forth from caffeine to no caffeine and back again.

This makes it difficult for the people in my life to prepare food for me, or so I perceive.

And so I shrink when it comes to feeding myself, making my needs as small and manageable as I can.

Oh no it’s OK, I’ll eat that thing that will totally make me sick for days. 

Because the physical discomfort of my body has been preferable to the inconvenience of my hungers – preferable to the emotional turmoil of constantly renegotiating and reinforcing my boundaries.

Preferable to being thought of as the difficult one. 

But, in some capacities, food is love. Preparing, choosing, and being served food that is in tune with your body is a supreme act of love. Asking for and acquiring the food that makes you feel your best is self-love at it’s finest. It is the way that you tend to your home on this planet, your sacred vessel.

Am I worth that? 

Am I worth the inconvenience, the conversation? Is it selfish to want to feel radiant?

 


 

Cultivating a Schedule That Prioritizes My Own Joy

Prospective client: I am only available after 8 pm and on the weekends. 

Me: I’m sorry, I will not be able to work with you, but I will send you a list of really killer referrals. 

Resisting the impulse to bend, acquiesce, shrink. To fit myself into the spaces in between. The few quiet moments. The breath between back to back clients. Working my way late into the night until I’m bleary eyed and stumbling to find my words – in the name of service, of being useful, of giving.

Because I am nothing, if I am not of service. Right? Right?!

Wrong. Instead: The steady structure of a pre-established schedule. A divine contract. A promise with myself that has my needs in mind. That it is enough simply to need – to want.

That it is enough to know yourself and to want a beautiful life for yourself.

But the coach down the virtual hall has a case load of 20 and works late into the night, every night. 

But, but, but… 

But I will not make myself small. I will take up my own space in the world. I will hold my the flexible structure with both hands and allow myself the opportunity to be here – to really be here – and to be seen. 

 


 

Women, myself included, have this phenomenal tendency to shrink. This phenomenal tendency to make themselves small in the presence of others, curling into the fetal position as the feel themselves brimming with inconvenient needs and hungers.

Today I implore you to join me in stretching your arms out wide and spinning around, carving out your sacred space in this world. Then, hold that space about you as you move around your day, in your mind and in your heart.

Know this: You are deserving of your needs, no matter how large or small. You are deserving of taking up your own corner of this world. You are deserving of your own love and affection.

Make room for yourself. Stand in your truths.

Take up all the space that you need. 

 


 

Stout Grove Redwoods

Pleasure Reading 03.30.14

This cleanse is how I will be spending this next week – taking sweet care of myself and conjuring a much-needed spring reboot. Join me! It starts tomorrow! 

How to write a book.

Is life hard? Keep everything else simple.

Two of my favorite business brains, Jac McNeil + Jen Louden, in one brilliant interview.

One woman’s trash is another woman’s pleasure.

5 ways that the impostor complex might be hurting your business.

This week I’m seeking pleasure by :: eating biscuits + lavender honey butter, becoming a member of the Secret Message Society, setting up my energy fields daily, wearing Gap leggings - the best and softest leggings ever, and spraying Lush cosmetics Breath of Fresh Air toner on my face every chance I get.

 


 

selfstudy Body Loving Homework Live is a group coaching excursion for women who are yearning to cultivate lives brimming with daily celebration + self-expression.

This online community is about mapping out a new way of relating to yourself that is firmly grounded in self-love, self-trust + radical self-responsibility.There is one spot left. Squee!

Join us. We start tomorrow.

Acceptance is Not Stagnation

There’s something that I need to talk to you about. And it begins with this message that I received yesterday…

I also see a fine line between this form of self-understanding and also gently pushing yourself to be a better person. If all I really want to do is feel sorry for myself and hide under the covers I might actually be shooting myself in the foot. Closing myself off to opportunities that may enrich me and make me feel more alive.

It came in response to a travel series that I had been writing for my newsletter about my West Coast trip, spending the night in a yurt, and learning how to love what I love after a night in an airstream in Eugene.

The summation of those emails was the concept that the absolute best life that we can build for ourselves has to be a life with ample space for us to move around in – including who we are, what we love, and our peculiarities and predilections.

But after receiving this message, I realized that this concept required a bit of clarification.

There is a big difference between being sweet to yourself and feeling sorry for yourself or hiding under the covers until the end of time.

Humans flourish in warm and gentle climates – in environments where the conditions are carefully cultivated to suit our natures. You will flourish when you actively cultivate those kinds of conditions within your internal landscape and immediate surroundings. When you take yourself into account while making your plans and play to your strengths when writing your to-do lists.

This does not mean taking it unduly easy on ourselves or living lives without ambition.

Instead, it is about working with ourselves instead of against ourselves in order to get from here to there.

inner strength

It is about knowing that we do not need to feel the fear and do it anyway in order to feel alive.

Fear is does not have to be your go-to motivator. Your life does not need to be a regime of one where you are both the ruler and the struggling citizen. Your life will not fall apart if you lead with love.

However, there are times when we will feel fear and know that it is simply an emotion and not an indicator that we are on the wrong path or that we are doing something wrong.

The slight difference comes from the trust in the relationship that we have built with ourselves.

The difference is in telling ourselves the truth when it comes to what we desire. 

At the core of it all, I will follow myself anywhere, because I know, in my heart and in my bones, that I will never abandon myself again.

I know that I will take care of myself – no matter what – and that I can trust in my own ability to follow my desires and take action on the things that I am craving.

I know that I will do that because honoring myself and to prioritizing my dreams feels so good to do. 

I know this because I tell myself the truth about my life. I talk candidly with myself about my dreams. About the actions that I’m ready to take and the patterns that I tend to fall into when I’m at my edge. I talk to myself about what I’m afraid of and how I’m feeling. Internally I shed light on the chasm between my ambitious mind and my frequent desire to hop into bed and pull the covers over my head to meet my need for safety.

We have to trust in our ability to honestly communicate with ourselves about the life that we are building.

We can no longer carry a collective misconception that we will crumble to nothing when we stop whipping ourselves along, forcing ourselves to motivate and perform, or tapping into our willpower. 

We can no longer tell ourselves that if we stop beating ourselves up or speaking to ourselves harshly, we will never move forward, we will never get from here to there.

We need reminding that there is a really big difference between living our lives to the brim and pushing ourselves to live in someone else’s vision of what a good life is.

My life, my dreams and my ambitions are possible when they are grounded in the reality of who I am. When they are cultivated in love and acceptance of all of my parts.

I want you to know…

You are trustworthy.

Your inner knowledge – your needs, your gut instinct, the full canon of your desires – is trustworthy.

You can speak plainly to yourself. It doesn’t have to be complicated or precious.

Tell yourself the truth and let your spirit shine through your actions.

Allow yourself to be led by the things that light you up.

Do not mistake acceptance for stagnation.

 


 

selfstudy Body Loving Homework Live is a group coaching excursion for women who are yearning to cultivate lives brimming with daily celebration + self-expression.This online community is about mapping out a new way of relating to yourself that is firmly grounded in self-love, self-trust + radical self-responsibility.There are two spots left.

Join us.

Welcome! I’m Mara.

I’m Mara Glatzel. I’m an intuitive coach and writer. I guide women home to themselves and teach them to create lives brimming with supreme self-care. read more
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