On My 368th Day of Being in Love

September 04, 2009
I had planned an anniversary post for tuesday, which was my actual anniversary, involving much fanfare and diagrams about the metaphysics of falling in love and much pseudoscientific discusion, however, it seemed more appropriate to spend the day (and subsequent days) just being in love, rather than torturing my sweetheart with boredom as I often do when I enter "blogland" But what I planned to diagram for you was the actual probability of ... keep reading

Attn: Marzipan, Have Become a Complete Nutcase

August 26, 2009
I am losing (have lost) my mind It appears that after the kajillionth week of working at least three too many jobs, begging the universe to bring me my future, scheming and procesing and dreaming and procesing some more, I have hit a wall I am whiny I am heartsick I have bags under my eyes and acne and I need a haircut My two sisters - whom I love more than life itself - are leaving in what is now FIVE days FIVE DAYS When I say I love them, ... keep reading

Confessions of a Compulsive Eater

August 20, 2009
or, Lesons I Don't Want to Teach My Daughters, depending I feel revolting I am too busy to feel revolting And yet, here I am, again, feeling like my skin is too tight and I am suffocating in my overwhelming need to consume I will give myself a slight reprieve: I did quit smoking - after almost ten years I am grateful to myself and my lungs for putting up with me, but I fear that quitting smoking has given my other addictions a chance to ... keep reading

Feeling Powerful: Pulling Yourself From the Dark Place

August 06, 2009
  When I was a kid I was pretty generally terrified I would lie awake in my bed, night after night, tensely alert because I was sure that if my eyes closed even for a second something terrible would happen I was afraid of the things that people were capable of doing when no one was looking, when the lights were out, when every one else was sleeping I had the ability to dwell on these fears for an alarmingly long period of time, seeing only ... keep reading

The Scarcity Model, Compulsive Eating, and a new fondness for post-its

July 23, 2009
I have had a complicated relationship with food for as long as I can remember  I often find that my days are filled with complex rituals of wanting, needing, accumulating, and feeling guilty about food Upon becoming an "adult" it was a major relief to me to be in complete and total responsibility of what I ate and how I provided myself with my own wants and needs However, often these desires to provide and take care of myself take on lives of ... keep reading