Confessions of a Television Addict

January 26, 2011

Hi, my name is Marzipan, and I’m a television addict.

It’s true. I’m the kind of girl that sort of thinks that characters on TV shows that I love are my real life friends. The kind of girl that finds few things more relaxing and wonderful than kicking back and zoning out.  I am a Netflix-ing/Hulu-ing/DVR-ing professional. I have few requirements other than a plot – I’ve never really been a fan of sports or reality television.

When I was a kid, I used to have really high anxiety (I know, I know – I STILL have really high anxiety, but this was much worse), and I had a distinct inability to shut my brain off.  No matter what I tried – yoga, meditation, sleep, deep-breathing, running, NOTHING distracted me from the anxious wheels turning and turning all day and night. I developed insomnia, because in the night, my brain would spin off in a million directions and I would start getting scared. Soon, I had to sleep with all of the lights on. “Sleep” being the operative word.

The other day on twitter, a bunch of people that I love and respect were battling about the potential evils of the subject matter of shows on television these days. During this conversation, I was sort of just watching from the sidelines as a little internet voyeur, but I haven’t been able to shake it. I mean – I can’t imagine my life without television. On any given day, I encounter people who think that only stupid people watch television or that there is nothing worth watching on. And, I’ll tell you, my mind is blown.

Have these people NOT SEEN Friday Night Lights? Brothers & Sisters? Sons of Anarchy?? SIX FEET UNDER? Big Love? Law and Order: SVU?

I have always quietly wondered why some people think that others who GASP enjoy things like watching Jersey Shore or listening to Britney Spears are dumb, but you know, I spent a lot of my life watching the right foreign subtitle movies or listening to the right underground and really really cool music or dressing perfectly in that I spent the last three hours making you think that I just woke up looking this good kind of way.

And now?

Part of learning to love myself exactly the way I am is accepting that really, I’m just not that cool. I believe fully that you can be both intelligent AND like Veronica Mars. You are the most charming and cheerful when you are being authentically true to yourself. You are worth more than having to pretend to be something that you aren’t for others to like you. And the truth is – people will like you the best when you are unapologetically YOU (to quote the lovely MizFit).

I am happy when I can balance my social work, body image advocate brain with feeling relaxed and calm. And being cool? Not all it’s cracked up to be.

So today, I’ve just got to know – what are your secret pleasures? What makes you tick? What are your favorite activities to pass the time?

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