I remember the day that I was told, calmly and self-assuredly by a friend that I had made plans with that she was going to have to break her plans, because she had over-extended herself and had changed her mind about wanting to go out.
At first, I was angry. I was all – are you SERIOUS? we had PLANS! I wrote it in my PLANNER. But after reflecting on it for a couple of minutes I realized that yes, I was angry – but I was angry at myself.
At that time in my life, I absolutely did not know how to put myself first. I was full to the brim of shoulds. As in, I should go out even though I am exhausted because I promised that I would. Or I should get up early and exercise, because that’s what all the good people are doing. Or I should blog three times a week and have my copy edited and ready to go for a 7am launch.
Recently, a professor of mine told me that he often tells his clients point blank to stop shoulding all over themselves, and I as I sat back in my chair I had a good hard look at the decisions that I had made in my life.
I’ll give you the abbreviated version: I’ve been doing exactly what I “should” do or what I’ve been told for as long as I remember.
I have never, not one time, stepped back and thought to my self what would I like to do today.
Or, how do I want to live my life?
Or, if I only had one year left to live how might I spend it? What is most important to me?
I probably wouldn’t spend the precious and fantastic moments of my life doing things that didn’t make me feel happy and fulfilled.
I might not eat something that I was supposed to eat, in favor of what I wanted to eat.
If I only had this one moment, and I might summon up all of my power and tell you that I’ve changed my mind about doing __________, especially if it wasn’t a good fit.
By good fit I mean: things that make you feel gorgeous, lit up, excited, fun, happy, creative, inspired, ecstatic, wild, affluent, fancy or charged with energy.
Suspend your disbelief for just a moment, and consider: if YOU were able to create the life of your dreams – and I’m begging you to THINK BIG, what would that life look like?