I have told parts of my stories many times before. I have told the stories of self-loathing. The stories using food to smother unacceptable feelings. The stories of when I didn’t say no when I wanted to, because I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I’ve told the sad stories, the ones that I have been deeply ashamed of.
I realized this weekend that I hadn’t ever paused to tell the stories that is beneath all of the stories, which, is also the story of why I do this work.
There have been many times in my life where I believed I was unworthy, deeply flawed, or not good enough. I have adjusted my behavior – curtailing my excitement and rounding my shoulders to minimize the space I took up in the world. I have apologized with every breath, putting a question mark at the end of every sentence.
I know what it’s like to feel undeserving.
But, at that same time, I cannot deny that there was a spark burning beneath the surface. It was deeply buried – out of fear of necessity – but it quietly burned all the same.
Somewhere, deep in my skin, at the core of my experiences, I knew that I was worth a lot more than I was giving myself credit for. Deep down, I knew that I was much more powerful than I was able to believe.
When I say powerful here, I do not mean particularly strong or persuasive. I do not mean powerful as in destined for greatness. I simply mean that, at the core of it all, I knew that I was a good person with something to say.
I believe that deep within each and every one of us, a similar fire burns.
That fire is made up of your inner wisdom and your desire for a life that is truly yours. That fire is fueled by the idea that someday you will listen, someday you will pay attention, and someday you will be able to return to home to yourself.
We spend so much time afraid of ourselves, because we are afraid that, if we let them, our lives will run away with us. That we won’t be able to control ourselves anymore. We are afraid that we might not like the information that we receive.
But, that’s where the good stuff is – the stuff that gets you from where you are sitting right now reading this post to a life that lights you up from the core. There is a part of you that is fantastically gorgeous and insightful and interesting.
There is a part of you that is restless, waiting for a seat at the table, waiting for the chance to shine.
We teach the lessons that we had to learn at one point in our lives, because that is where our greatest expertise lies.
This is a story that I have not told before, in this way.
I want to work with you on this. I want to support you, as you begin to re-author the rules of your life, and create something beautiful for yourself. If you feel so beckoned, find out more about Body Homework Live + claim your seat here.
If you’re curious or on the fence about this class, I would love to have a conversation with you to see if you’d be a good fit or to answer any questions that you have. Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to set it up.