Swine Flu Left Holes in My Relationship

November 20, 2009

Being in a relationship is the strangest thing. It really is. So, I was sick, really really sick, and C took the best ever care of me. But the entire time I was PAINFULLY aware of how out of control of my body I was, and how I felt too awful to keep myself together in front of her. And it turns out – for a control freak like me – this was more terrifying than I ever would have expected. It ALSO turns out that this vulnerable display of emotion wasn’t so easy to recover from.

1. It is awesome getting taken care of! Why would you ever want to be well when there is a sweet girl making you the most garlicky chicken soup you’ve ever had? How wonderful it is to be able to baby-would-you-mind….?

2. Felt great about myself when I was hallucinating due to fever and so skinny from lack of appetite and sweating half my body weight. Now, I feel the desire to eat everything in sight as compensation. Not feeling so good about myself. Not so sexy. Not reeeeally inclining me towards reigniting my romance.

3. Spending EVERY single second together for a week+ made me want to strangle my sweetheart due to overexposure, but somehow my weakened state made me extra codependent. Now I can’t stand to be apart, but feel like bickering due to our close quarters.

Krikes. These. Are. The. (my). Troubles.
So I’ve been spending the past couple of days fixing my feelings about my post-swine funk.
Will keep you posted about successes/failures.
Oy.
Xo.

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