5 Steps to Renovating Your Life

May 31, 2012

People are always going around and saying:

Do it like you mean it.

Which, I’ve always assumed means giving something your all. However, I’m curious – how are people supposed to give something their “ALL,” when they don’t even know what that looks like? So often we are so hampered by our own self-doubt, fear, and worry that we barely stick our toe into the life that we know we could have if we were only brave enough.

Step One

Let’s just all make a concerted effort to end that tip-toeing today.

I’m serious.

I know you think I’m joking. I know that you’re saying to yourself,

Ugh, Mara, if it was that freaking easy I would have done it already. What do you think I am, an idiot? Why would I stay this way if I didn’t have to.

I call bullshit.

Who says you have to suffer?

Bad things happen in this world, sometimes often, and often to good people who don’t deserve it. Bad things happen, but they cannot force you to suffer.

Step two

You are in charge of your own suffering.

You are also in charge of your own joy.

You are in charge of how you approach a situation, the mental frame that you wrap around an interaction, and you are definitely in control of your own success.

When people talk about giving something their all, I assume they mean: putting absolutely everything on the line, going all in, betting on yourself, taking a major risk, choosing to believe in your own abilities even when the deck is stacked against you, not being afraid of money, not being afraid of love, and deciding that you are worth the effort.

Construction worker, 2000Step three

Believe this: You are loveable. You are clever. You can pay the bills AND save up for your dream trip around the world. You can make a living doing what you love. You can be one half of a blissful relationship. You can have best-friends who support and love you, unconditionally.

Oh, what’s that? You don’t believe it? Make the choice to have only positive thoughts about yourself. Yes, this is a choice. Yes, it takes practice. And no, you will never be perfect at it – none of us will – but that shouldn’t stop you from trying.

Step four

Say what you want, what you really truly want, deep down, in your gut, in your heart, in your toes. Say it out loud and say it often. I wanted to be a coach and a business owner, but I didn’t know how on Earth to begin. I felt completely overwhelmed and as though no one in their right mind would ever purchase my services.

That was my fear talking, and it’s wasn’t a cute look. It was me recoiling from my dreams and shirking my promises to myself, because I was afraid. Because I didn’t want people to laugh at me. Because I didn’t want to hear anyone say that I couldn’t do it.

So, I gave myself a stern talking to. I make the decision to say my dreams out loud at absolutely every possible opportunity.

Acquaintance: Hey Mara, how was your winter? What have you been up to?

Old Mara: Um… It was good. How was yours?

New Mara: It was fantastic! I started a business in January coaching clients who are ready to renovate their lives from the inside out, and am doing some consulting with small businesses that are seeking to create body positive ad campaigns. I’m so excited about it! What have you been up to?

Ahem. See the difference?

Step five

When you start living your life with greater intention – the possibilities at your fingertips explode with all kinds of excitement, romance, exposure, and fun. Guard yourself against burn-out by remembering to make your own needs a priority. Get enough sleep.

Also, say no to opportunities that don’t 100% light you up inside, and trust that more, better, opportunities are right around the corner.