I have said it before, and I’ll say it again: I don’t like change.
But, if there is anything that is unavoidable in the world, it’s change. It seems that the more that you try to avoid change, and the more anxiety that you have about a pending lack of stability in your environment – the quicker it finds you.
I am a nester. I love few things more than a cozy bed, a refrigerator chock full of delicious, and knowing exactly what tomorrow is going to look like. I’m the type of girl that decides what she’s going to do next, makes a definitely plan, and follows through. I envision it in my mind, and then I love some good follow-through.
There is a running joke over here at the Marzipan Palace that you better not f*$% with me when it comes to making breakfast plans. For some reason or another, I just love breakfast. I love making a breakfast date. I love coffee. I love going out for brunch. And God help someone who makes a breakfast date with me, and then suddenly decides to break those plans for whatever reason.
My girlfriend learned early in the game that breaking a breakfast plan with me, particularly one that I went to bed the night before already thinking about spells trouble and is likely to put me in *quite* a bad mood for a good portion of the day thereafter.
This may seem trivial. I mean, it’s just breakfast right? But, the thing about breakfast is that it occurs in the early part of the day, when my brain is still soft and sleepy and vulnerable, and because I’m just so excited about it.
But mostly it’s because I’m primed to believe that people are going to make promises to me that they will eventually break.
Yes, there is usually a good reason. Yes, intellectually I understand that this is an overreaction, but change is just one of those things that has the power to hit us in a place that even our most reasonable minds can’t rescue us.
I chose this word, because spring is all about change. It’s all about new life, and excitement, and switching up your old routine in favor of something new and FANTASTIC. And all that change? Is very, very exciting. But for some? The sudden switch-up in routine can be jarring and prove riddled with anxiety. Now I’ve written all manner of posts about breathing yourself through a panic attack or testing your experience of reality, but change is so often at the root of all that fear.
We must do our best not to be afraid of change. It happens. It has happened before, and you’re still here right?
I know it’s scary. Focus on the good things that are happening, and try to keep a little constancy so the rest is a little less intimidating.