Cultivating Self-Trust

March 06, 2012

How many times have you broken a promise to yourself?

Whether it is due to a careful negotiation of whether or not you truly deserve what you’ve promised, or whether it just goes by the wayside in the busyness of your daily life – we have a tendency not to follow through on the promises that we make to ourselves, both small and large.

In a recent email, coach Jennifer Louden stated:

Self-trust grows from a history of promises made and kept.

Which got me thinking, how do we break our own trust on a daily basis?

What is the effect on our own understanding of what it means to be fed and nourished, when we ignore our own hunger cues?

What kind of withering impact does ignoring our intuition have on the passion that we expect to feel on a daily basis?

What is the real result of saying yes (again and again and again) when we wish we were saying no?

When we ignore our own inherent wisdom, we are consciously and unconsciously silencing ourselves, telling ourselves that our opinion, our feelings, and our thoughts don’t matter.

If self-trust grows from a history of promises made and kept – how are we experiencing breaks in self-trust when we live a life isn’t authentic in reflecting our own dreams and needs?

When we head off every day to a job that we don’t like.

When we wake up every morning in bed next to someone that makes us cringe at the thought of spending just one more second with them.

When we shove food in our mouths far past the point of being full.

When we decide not to raise our hand in class, just in case we are wrong.

When we make the choice not to ask for what we really, when we are truly vulnerable and honest with ourselves, need out of those around us.

When we tell our families that we’ll fix it, we’ll shoulder the burden, we’ll smooth it out and make it better.

When we fake orgasms, because we feel badly for making our partners work to please us.

When we lie about how much we weigh on our drivers license or put up a picture of us that is carefully photoshopped on a dating site.

When we bury ourselves in clothes that are sizes too big for us, because we can’t stand the silhouette of our own body.

When we ignore ourselves, tucking our wishes, hopes, needs, and desires far away in a corner where no one can find us – we are sending ourselves a powerful message about what we deserve out of our own lives.