DANGER: On Getting Out of Your Own Way

July 03, 2012

Have you ever had an experience where things are exciting! and rapidly falling into place! And yet, you find yourself again and again trampling all over your best intentions and throwing road blocks between yourself and the life that you’ve been working towards?

Why is it that sometimes, we are our own biggest saboteur?

There have been times in my life when in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds that I have crumpled under the pressure – deliberately checking out, refusing to check my email, and permitting myself the excuse of needing time and space in order to figure it all out. 

Those moments have almost always been preceded by the delicious (and nerve-wracking) unfurling of a dream that had been in the making for many months or years.

It has appeared in moments where I have become frightened that everything is going to be different now or that the sheer thought of living my life at that new, exciting level was so exhausting that I wanted to toss my hat in the ring before I even began.

When I fell in love with C. 

When people started reading Medicinal Marzipan. 

When I opened my coaching practice. 

When I’ve done things that I have gone after with every last little bit of what I have to offer – digging deep, staying focused, and refusing to settle for anything less than the best case scenario.

Now, I’d like to introduce a caveat here: I am not talking about not taking care of yourself. There are many moments when your body is telling you to slow down, because you’re doing is big and important work. I am not advocating ignoring your body’s cues for rest and relaxation.

I’m talking about that I’m-just-going-to-stick-my-head-in-the-sand, because I’ll probably fuck this all up anyway and no one will blame me for failing if I don’t give it my all kind of feeling.

That moment where all of the things that you have been praying for start falling into place, and the immediacy and promise of your own success has you heading for the hills.

I am empathically inviting you to turn around and stand up straight, because you are worth more than that. 

Please listen to me, when I say:

It can be much more frightening to burn like the sparkly, passionate, gorgeous, genius star that you are than to run from your successes and hide in the corner.

It is easy to make (and keep) yourself small – chances are you’ve been doing it for much of your life. 

Why is it that we hate to be caught succeeding?

What is the part of our hearts that sabotage our best of intentions, but allowing all of our old narratives to pop up and overwhelm us during a moment of tender, new vulnerability?

What do we need to bolster our fledgling superstar tendencies, so that they are sheltered by the storms of our own making?

Take stock of who you are and what you have to offer the world, and act accordingly. 

You are wise beyond your years.

You have amazing ideas.

You have the capacity for forming relationships that are beautiful and romantic and intimate.

You have mastered the skills of elbow-grease – carefully honed over years and years of working diligently building someone else’s dream. 

You are beautiful, exactly as you are.

Your body is GORGEOUS, right this very second.

Darling – do yourself a favor and start acting like the knockout that you are, and that includes allowing all of your hard work and perseverance to pay off. 

Take action, right this second: In the comments, let us know one thing that you are going to do this week to hold yourself accountable and invest in your own success.