Stop Comparing Yourself to Cousin Jane, Neighbor Joe, + Co-worker Justine

September 28, 2010

This fantastic guest post was written by Sui. She was one of MM’s very first readers, and is the author of the a phenomenal blog – cynosure. Find her on twitter or check out her anthology, Pleiades.

In a world of individuals, comparison makes no sense at all.

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Love yourself. You are an individual. Own it.

Recognize and respect your own amazing talents, merits, quirks, and yes, even your imperfections– they make you uniquely you. Revel in the spotlight that the only person in the world that could be you is YOU, and you’re the one that makes the magic happen. You’re the only one who will shine with your soul, with your heart, with your mind. Be the absolutely most wonderful YOU you can be, and forget about the rest.

Comparing doesn’t serve ANY purpose other than to make you miserable.

It does not make you richer, fitter, smarter, or prettier– and worst of all, it doesn’t make you any happier.

There is no productive way to compare yourself to other people. There is no such thing as positive comparison. (Admiring other people’s accomplishments, being inspired by their successes does not equal comparison; it’s respect & positive growth. Making it your goal to be Cousin Jane wavers toward comparison.) Comparison and envy isn’t going to change your life to become more like Neighbor Joe’s… it’s just going to leave you quite possibly miserable with a few hours of your precious life wasted.

If you were Neighbor Joe, nobody who loves you now would even know or care who you are.

You control your life and the amount of awesomeness you’re experiencing.

You also control how you feel about other people’s lives. Comparing is just another way of forgetting that everyone is human. Everyone makes mistakes. And nobody’s life is perfect… even near perfect. And that’s okay. Where Cousin Jane is failing, perhaps you’re excelling. Where Co-Worker Justine has trouble, maybe you can do it without even batting an eye! But would envying you help them achieve anything they want? Does envying or comparing yourself to others do anything for you other than make you feel bad about yourself, which you don’t have to do?

No matter how much you think Family Friend Fred is doing so much better than you, living happier & looking better, remember that you have one life to live, and that is yours only to THRIVE! You have the choice to keep on wishing to be in someone else’s shoes, not realizing you have an entire world of beautiful possibilities in front of you, selling yourself short of awesome experiences because you’re wasting your time wanting to live someone else’s life (which might not be as pretty a picture as you paint it to be). Or you have the choice to truly live your own life, make choices to flourish greatly.

The thing is, comparing automatically drives a divide between you and other people… when the truth is, we are different but not separate. May we all live lives filled with love and beauty.

Be the best possible you.

That’s the only best, greatest, most amazing person you can be.