This post has been whipped up by the fantastic Sarah Von Bargen, over at Yes and Yes, which is just one of my all-time faves. Run, don’t walk. Enjoy!
Is it weird if I tell you that I have some very, very attractive lady friends?
Well, I do. They’re my friends because they’re smart, funny, kind and equally obsessed with anthropomorphism. But many of them also happen to be double-take hot. Now, I am not someone who is particularly plagued with self-doubt, but I can also acknowledge (usually without malice. usually.) when another woman is prettier than I am.
I have one such friend who probably ranks somewhere in the range of 11 on the 1 – 10 attractiveness scale. She models, men fall at her feet, birds and mice sing while sewing her dresses. Despite this, girlfriend is frequently convinced that people don’t like her, that her poreless skin is sagging, that she’s somehow not good enough. If I looked like her, I’d spend my days naked and accepting marriage proposals. How could she ever doubt herself? Everywhere she goes, people praise her. Everywhere she looks, the media tells her that she looks the ‘right way.’ I wanted to know, so I asked.
Her response? “How would you feel if the only thing people ever praised you for was something you had no control over? And how would you feel if every day, you were slowly loosing the one thing people complimented you on?”
This friend is bright, hilarious and golden-hearted. She’ll remember your birthday and if something bad happens to you, she’ll probably be more upset about it than you are. But not many people notice or comment on the above qualities. Other crazy hot, traditionally attractive friends of mine have regaled me with tales of the never-ending stream of men who hit on them and harass them, the other girls who refuse to befriend or trust them, the co-workers who are convinced pretty girls are incompetent.
Now, I’m sure it’s possible to read this post and get a headache from eye rolling. Oh, the trials and travesties visited upon beautiful women! I’m taking out my tiny violin and what not. Obviously, there are harder fates in the world than those that await traditionally attractive women. But as these friends point out, being beautiful hasn’t necessarily made their lives easier or spared them heartache. They, too, have failed classes, chosen questionable boyfriends, been laid off or gotten zits on photo day.
So next time you see that incredibly hot girl at the coffee shop, say hello! She’s probably fraught with the same anxieties and neuroses as you are. She probably wants to talk about Pride and Prejudice and cat videos with you. She might just be aching to be friends with you.
How do you feel about your looks? Do you think you’re pretty? How much does your appearance affect the way people interact with you? I’m (generally) pretty confident and (usually) think I’m quite cute. I think because of my button nose and blonde hair, I look quite friendly and approachable, but because I’ve spent so much time traveling on my own, I’m actually a bit stand-offish in public. My ambient facial expression has been described as ‘sulky Russian’!