Doing The "Hard" Things

January 15, 2014

I woke up this morning and read this post about hard things you need to do in order to be successful.

And since then, I’ve been thinking about the word hard. 

I don’t necessarily agree with the concepts put forth in the article, but it did make me pause to think about the hard things that I do think are requisites for a meaningful and fulfilled life.

I will start here: It is hard to live a life written by other people’s rules, filled to the brim with choices we haven’t actively chosen, and begin the journey back home to ourselves by honoring our spirits and desires. It is hard to wake up in a life that isn’t yours, surrounded by things that you didn’t choose or didn’t feel that you had a choice in.

It is hard because, in that moment, it may feel like a mountain stands between you and the life that you were meant to live.  That mountain is daunting, inspiring fear and self-doubt in even the most dedicated hearts.

And, yet, I teach women how to grant themselves permission to be exactly who they are.

You deserve a life that is worth living, for you. A life of ease and choice and joy. A life where you are welcomed to show up as yourself, fully and unabashedly, in every moment. A life of relationships that help you celebrate yourself for all that you are. A life of purposeful, divine work.

A life that you can feel at home in. 

There is work involved in cultivating this life. It can be hard to make the decision not to follow the guru or chase the next expert, and to dip into radical self-responsibility. It can be hard to choose yourself – your opinions, your decisions, your delights.

This work can be hard, but I can promise you it is harder not to do it.

Imagine this: You wake up in a house that you hate, to head to a job that fills your veins with dread. As you dress, you experience a distinct disconnect with your body, avoiding your own eyes in the mirror and clothing yourself with an attitude of disaster management – covering your body up, tucking it in, and doing your best to be presentable. Your relationship with your partner or children has become the cool calm of living with acquaintances, polite and respectful with an unmistakable lack of warmth. You move about your day as if someone else is pulling the strings – moving from task to task – afraid to pause, because you feel tired so deep in your bones that if you rest, you might never get up again.

This isn’t a bad life. It is a nice life. All of the right things are there: house, job, relationship.

But what is missing is you. 

choose your hard

Now, some people really adore a life like that. My work is not for those people.

But, if simply reading that paragraph makes you feel like you’re having an allergic reaction or sinking quickly into panic, I’m here to be a beacon of hope. No it doesn’t have to be like that. Yes you deserve more. Yes you can have it. And, yes, I will help you. 

You deserve to feel lit up by your life. You deserve to immerse yourself elbow deep in the process. You deserve to look around and see the brilliance of your spirit reflected back at you – by the color of your walls, the polka dots on your dress, the shade of your lipstick, the ruffled sleepy face of your sweetheart, the content of your daily conversation, the particulars that tell you, this life is mine. 

I’m not talking about perfection, far from it.

The world that I’m talking about is messy and vulnerable and truthful and rich. It you about you, showing up in the world as yourself, fully. It is about you choosing to participate, choosing to have your own back, and choosing to do the work necessary to support yourself at every turn.

While this work might look hard for people beginning this journey, I want to tell you that it quickly becomes enjoyable. Like pushing a boulder down a hill, wedging your fingers beneath the rock and setting it in motion is the most difficult part. At a certain point, the boulder starts rolling quicker and quicker, merrily moving of it’s own accord.

Creating a life that you love is very much like that. At a certain point, it feels so epically good to be yourself – FINALLY – that you can’t imagine it any other way. At a certain point, that small spark of your spirit ignites into a roaring bonfire and your light is undeniable.

This life is not always easy. It not always pretty. But, it is all yours.

Today I invite you to join me in choosing your hard.