When I work with women who have spend much of their life and money fixing themselves, I always feel it immediately in their energy. In moments I can almost slip it back on, because it was a feeling that I wore for so much of my life. It is the frantic, hopeful wanting – wanting to be good, wanting to be whole, wanting to become lovable.
The calculating – breaking the journey down into money, time, results, lbs., calories, hours, days.
The prayer – this time, this thing, this will be the moment when I am truly mended.
The knowing – I’ve failed myself before a thousand times. I can’t trust myself to follow through.
And yet, I want so much more than that for you.
I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you.
Instant gratification is the quick fix, the easy miracle.
It is the promise that by simply implementing these three very easy steps, you will be saved from yourself.
The promise that you can be fixed. You can be whole.
I don’t want to break your heart, but instant gratification is also, often, a quick and easy way to sell you a distraction from your own brilliance. I also want you to know that I do believe that you can be “fixed” and “whole”, but it isn’t by a process that is being sold to you in magazines.
I am no stranger to the sweet lure of the quick fix.
I spent years spending all of my money and my brain space buying up every plan I could get my hands on – diets, regimes, workout routines, productivity manifestos, and ways to make me money while I slept.
The truth is, the quick fix is always sounds too good to be true and that’s why we want it. It makes us think things like, well, I’ve got 20 days or $20 dollars. I could do it too. I could have that too. Easy.
It is much more seductive than the slow process of putting one foot in front of the other.
It triggers that part of us that is exhausted from all of the wishing and trying, from churning in our drive to prove our worth.
It is momentary salve for all of the parts that hurt us, the unfulfilled wishes and the dreams that lack proper foundation.
It is compelling to drop the struggle and just say yes.
Yes, please, fix me.
Yes, please, let me switch my mind off for a moment, so that I can rest.
Yes, please, return me to myself thinner, brighter, smarter, richer, or more beautiful.
Yes, please, I desperate and exhausted. I’ll try anything.
But your desires won’t be unearthed by a quick fix. Your solutions aren’t formulaic. Your path forward isn’t cookie cutter. You can trust yourself to have the answers that you’re searching for.
You want :: More ease. More beauty. More love. More authenticity. More connection. More you.
Constant gratification is the beauty in the struggle, reveling in each step in the journey.
It isn’t always sexy. Or quick. It often involves tears and feeling the full breadth of your feelings and allowing things to be messy, even when you’d really prefer them neat.
Constant gratification is hopping off of the hamster wheel of proving your worth, and embarking instead on a journey of becoming more of who you already are.
Because becoming more of who you are is your purpose on this planet.
It isn’t without it’s difficulties, but it is real. It is you, blossoming into the best version of yourself. It is you, figuring out what you have to offer the world around you. It is you, showing up in your life with intention and grace.
There is power in the journey of constant gratification – in taking the time and making the space to love your life now, in this moment, in this body, in this messy house.
Today, look around your life and allow yourself to dip into a place of gratitude and wonder. Motivate yourself out of love instead of fear.
Open yourself up to your true becoming.
It does take time and for each of us the journey is different. Thank you for this reminder!
This is something very hard for me to do, but I have been working on it so, so hard. Especially in the moments where I don’t like myself and don’t feel deserving of my own love.
You wrote a beautiful reminder.