The first time that I really invested in myself was the summer of 2010.
The investment? Danielle LaPorte’s The Fire Starter Sessions. $125.
I wanted that digital book so badly. I woke up thinking about it in the morning. I told myself, if you’re really good… When I purchased it, it was late at night and I felt so excited, knowing that it would change everything.
Confession: I never read it.
But, while I was thinking about The Fire Starter Sessions, I was also thinking about the part of myself that I was beginning to pull out of the shadows and into the forefront of my life.
I was buying the part of myself that was ready to be born.
And it did change everything.
Since then, I have spent a lot of money investing in myself. I have worked with: web designers, personal assistants, coaches, and naturopaths. I have paid to participate in women’s mastermind circles, business classes, and online communities that bolster my spirits every single day.
I have spent a lot of money even when I haven’t had a lot of money, because I have big dreams and I love the feeling of big help.
I love having space held for me. I love proving to myself that my dreams are important. And, I love offering this space to the amazing women that I work with.
And, in return, I have built both a business and a life that I deeply love.
It is not that I couldn’t have done it with out the help, but I didn’t want to. The help makes it feel less lonely, less insurmountable. The help allows me to giggle and reach out and learn how to receive support from others.
We all need help on our path to becoming the best version of ourselves.
We all need the tools and people that light us up, plugging us back into ourselves – into that part of hearts that is ready for the life that we’ve been dreaming of.
Our collective relationship with investment is a complicated one, rooted in our beliefs about our deserving. We so often feel as though we have to prove ourselves in order to deserve investment. Or we tell ourselves, If I were better/smarter/more pulled together, I wouldn’t need so much help.
But at the end, it isn’t about the money – it is about our time, our faith, and our energy.
We determine which part of our lives receive our attention. There is nothing wrong with the act of shelving a dream in favor of paying your rent or spending your day in bed, but it must be reframed as an active choice. You are always in the process of choosing the trajectory of you life.
You have to pay your rent. You need food on the table. You need to rest.
But, you also have to nurture and protect your dreams – in any way that you can.
When I bought The Fire Starter Sessions, my life was inexplicably altered because I chose to further myself along my dream path. The act of investing in myself solidified my knowing that this path was indeed mine, and I was willing to feel uncomfortable in the pursuit of following it.
Investment in ourselves is the act of plying ourselves with the resources that make space for us to become who we want to become.
It’s the book that we want desperately. The coach that doesn’t judge us when we cry. The lipstick that makes us giddy inside. An hour to dream.
The bright points in our day that remind us of who we are.
When you invest in yourself, you are providing yourself with a playground to practice living. These are the things that raise your resonate deeply and offer you an opportunity to access higher levels of yourself. You are gathering yourself support along your path. You are gathering the necessary resources.
And yes, it can feel selfish at first.
It is a dramatically different way of relating to yourself and to the world around you. When you make the choice to invest in yourself, you are making the choice not to use your money in another way. Maybe you are eating less dinners out. Maybe now isn’t the moment for that trip. Maybe you don’t need a fifth pair of boots.