The Power of Being Heard

I hope that you know what it’s like to have someone truly listen to you. Listen to you, putting down everything in their hands, looking you square in the eye, and nodding as you speak. Listen to you, and take what you’ve said into account when they are making decisions that impacts your mutual future.

I hope you know what it feels like to be truly heard.

Integral to the process of being truly heard is garnering the ability to accurately represent your feelings and needs to another person.  Digging deep, being brave, and permitting yourself a moment to both honor your needs and provide yourself an arena where those needs can be met.

We cannot expect others to read our minds. What we are responsible for is being impeccable with our word, and learning to ask for what we truly need.

Games and bullshit aside.

The problem is, we can be as dishonest with ourselves as we can be with anyone else.

And we can be as hard of hearing – moving too quickly, forgetting to tune in to those little voices in the back of our head asking us to slow down, take a second, respond to a need, comfort a fear, and feed ourselves both physically and emotionally.

Now, I’d love for you to remember what it feels like to gather all of your bravery and timidly ask for what you need or create a healthy boundary with someone, only to have that request blatantly ignored or mocked.

That moment of punch to the gut where you have made yourself vulnerable, only to be mocked by those around you.

By those people who are supposed to love you.

By your parents or caregivers.

By your children when you are just trying to take care of them.

By your boss and co-workers.

By your own voice.

So many of us ignore the little voices, the timid requests, the humble compromises, and the boundary setting of our own body, our own soul.

We ignore ourselves at our most vulnerable.

We tell ourselves to grin and bare it.

We don’t feel or hydrate ourselves properly.

We tell ourselves that we can sleep when we’re dead.

We tell our bodies that they are imperfect, unlovable, fat, ugly, or disappointing.

We tell our thoughts and ideas to shut up and get realistic. There are bills to pay, we say, no on has time for your dreaming.

We tell our hearts that we don’t deserve what we desire, that we should suck it up and make it work.

Authentic living occurs when you begin listening to those little voices. It’s the spontaneous ecstasy of moving in sync with your deepest wishes and needs.

It’s the act of taking a chance on yourself, and knowing that it will work out.

It’s the act of knowing that it will work out, because you truly believe in your own strength, aptitude, soul, and creativity.

You are worth listening to.

You are magnificent.

It’s time to tune in.

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If you are ready to start living authentically, but don’t know where on earth to start  – let me be your hype girl and let’s navigate this journey together.

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5 thoughts on “The Power of Being Heard”

  1. It’s funny…I just wrote about this subject (kinda) from a sort of different perspective…

    One thing I realized several years ago is that what I was really hungry for was to be heard…and that unless I allowed myself to be heard, I was going to stuff myself with food. There are lots of different ways we stuff ourselves…hoping to be relevant.

  2. Great post!

    Everyone deserves to be truly heard, especially by those around us, but also by ourselves.

    I think that people who are used to being laughed at/of, people who have grown up with their needs ignored, are more inclined to do the same for themselves. At least that’s my experience.

    Sometimes we need to be heard by others before we realize that it’s okay to listen to ourselves.

    <3

  3. For me, I feel like its a cycle. I listen to myself, believe in myself, and assert to to those close to me what I need. I ask for help. It falls on deaf ears. I’m pretty eloquent and I’ve expressed myself pretty clearly. Both calmly and then angrily when I don’t get what I need. I try to go it alone, telling myself I am strong and don’t need their support. I redouble my efforts and overwork myself. Then I get tired, life intervenes, and I can’t handle it all myself. Then I find myself losing confidence. I think, I really can’t do this. And if those closest to me don’t care enough for me, why should I believe and care? Which I realize is when you need to be your own best advocate. I guess I can only control what I say, hear and believe.

  4. Studies like this have very real world implications on how we should approach our relationships. If we tend to be the more dominant voice, then it’s a good idea to step back and give the other person a chance to say what’s on their mind. Listening to what others say, without interrupting or being disrespectful, is going to help both of you to find ways to make your relationship more positive and rewarding.

    If you are the more reserved voice, then it’s just as important that you find ways to express yourself. If a romantic partner, family member, or roommate isn’t giving you a chance to speak your mind, then it may be important to intervene and tell them that you need to sit down together and let your concerns be known.

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