What If?

April 22, 2010

If you haven’t yet heard, Fitarella has started a new challenge wherein a group of bloggers will be working weekly towards answering “what ifs.” This challenge originated with Don Miller, and is based upon the idea that “what if?” is one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself. He proposes that you start a small group where participants will ask themselves five “what if” questions. Next, participants share their questions, in this case Fitarella has organized a group of bloggers who are virtually sharing and working on their questions on their own personal blogs, and updating the group of their progress online by posting every Wednesday about their progress. ¬†On Wednesdays, I will both update you guys of my progress towards my personal set of “what if” questions, as well as link the other participants and their online journeys.

My What If Questions:

  1. What if I decided to love my body, exactly as it is, everyday, no matter what?
  2. What if I celebrated my love of my body by eating intuitively and implementing an exercise routine?
  3. What if I was able to support myself with my blog and freelance writing?
  4. What if I stopped trying to control aspect of my life, including my relationship, and learned to go with the flow?
  5. What if I said no when I wanted to?

Yesterday I got home after four months of traveling. While wonderful, all that traveling and moving did not really nourish my ability to take care of myself. Now that I’m home, I’m recommitting myself to taking care of my body and striding towards loving myself by feeding myself healthy food and exercising. Additionally, I have come to the conclusion that, when I’m being honest with myself, what I am truly passionate about is this blog and furthering my reach/abilities within the online healthy living community.

I have recently increased my online community by participating more on twitter, weekly #fitblog chats, guest posting, and am gearing up to my first blogging conference – Blogher in NYC in August. I love this blog. I love the online healthy living community. I’m looking forward to stop viewing these interests as a time-consuming hobby, and working towards making an actual living with this kind of work. AND I’M SO FREAKING EXCITED.

Part of this will include learning to say no, because it is something that I have a very difficult time with. My inability to say no stems from my complicated relationship with my body, diminished self esteem, and deep seated fear that I have to make up for my inadequacies by appeasing others. This final what if is possibly the most important, because it precedes all the others:

What if I said no to looking at my body through the lens of those who think I’m fat? What if I said no to people who tried to overwhelm my schedule with activities, so that there was no room for taking care of myself or exercising? What if I said no to people who were trying to love me by feeding me food that isn’t good for me? What if I said no to working for businesses that I’ve worked for in the past, but that have made me unhappy or left me without opportunities for growth? What if I said no to the freaked out little girl inside me who believes she doesn’t deserve her girlfriend, or is constantly waiting for the rug to be pulled out from underneath her?

What if I decided to say YES to loving myself no matter what? What if I decided to say YES to the idea that I deserve every good thing that comes my way? What if I said YES to my dream life?

Do you have any “what if” questions that you haven’t allowed yourself to ask? What are they?